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Sen. Rand Paul Humorously Airs His Festivus Grievances, Roasts Colleagues Including Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham

December 24, 2023
Jim Hᴏft
Photo: Gage Skidmore

In the traditional spirit of Festivus—a fictional holiday popularized by the television show “Seinfeld” for airing grievances—Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) took to Twitter to express his fiscal frustrations and criticize government spending.

Known for his annual “Festivus Report,” Sen. Paul humorously called attention to the misuse of taxpayer dollars by the federal government.

Through a series of tweets, Paul engaged with high-profile figures such as Elon Musk and political associates, sharing his concerns and promoting both his Christmas playlist and his latest waste report. The report, according to a linked Fox News article, exposes an astounding $900 billion in federal waste.

Rand Paul Releases Annual ‘Festivus Report’ Detailing Billions in Government Waste

The Senator took a playful jab at the concept of heightened political drama, suggesting the GOP nominating process could be revamped into a TV reality show/game show combination to spark more interest than the current debates. He tweeted out the idea, half in jest, noting the potential for better ratings.

Read his tweet below:

I’M BACK for more #airingofgrievances, exposing waste, and generally pissing people off online. I would like to personally thank Elon Musk for buying this platform and allowing us all to say Happy #Festivus again. I mean, we could always say it. No one actually ever stopped us from saying it, but whatever.

I’m kidding. The war on Christmas was REAL. It was so real that Lindsey Graham tried to send it aid money.

You know the current war is not going well when Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham aren’t even sure they want to send it money. They saw Zelensky last week, patted their pockets, and said sorry all out. It’s quite the #Festivus Miracle, really.

Speaking of Zelensky, last year I said he came to Congress dressed like he was delivering our Uber Eats order. This year I would say it was more like he was trying to sell me the next iPhone at a T-Mobile store.

Most of the candidates on the Republican side are against more aid, and I think that’s a great step forward for our party and country. I’m skeptical about Chris Christie’s plan to trade weapons for perogies, though.

Elon Musk, T-Mobile, let me ask you a question, and you can reply with your answer: should the GOP change its nominating method to a TV reality show/game show combo? Think of it as the Battle of the Network Stars meets the Apprentice. I bet the ratings would be better than these unwatchable debates.

This weekend I’m traveling to see my parents, and it always reminds me that if more people than just me and Representative Thomas Massie had been listening to my Dad, we would be a lot better off.

I have a problem with Ted Cruz this year – as usual it’s about not understanding liberty. To all those who have a pet peeve against something (like smart refrigerators) — do the libertarian thing: if you don’t like them don’t buy them.

And on this and many things, leave the rest of us the hell alone. I’m almost out of mayo and I need my refrigerator to know that.

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave out Justin Amash. He also listened to my Dad, but then he set himself on fire after his TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) diagnosis.

Speaking of which, when Donald Trump is elected for the second time next year, we better clear out a lot of space on planes and roads leaving the country. I expect every leftist half-wit entertainer who says they’re going to leave to do so. They always tell the truth, right?

Same with the angry leftist politicians. That is, whoever is still here after Epstein’s full list is published next year.

Kid-ding. Also, I’m not suicidal and do not wish to harm myself. Thank you.

Speaking of harm, it’s time again to look at what both parties in DC are doing to your future by wasting your tax dollars.

More tax dollars down the litter box…

It’s high time we swing back towards fiscal sanity.

That’s all for now. I’ll return later with more, but for the time being, you can enjoy my Christmas playlist on Spotify.

In a separate X thread, Sen. Rand Paul continued to air his grievances:

I’m back with more #Festivus joy! Shall we?

Years of massive spending finally caught up to us, and inflation and recession are still here.

It’s funny because the press tries to tell us we should be happy because some number a government bureaucrat came up with says prices aren’t higher.

The press has moved on from reporting to gaslighting. It’s a shame, but we know the truth every time we buy groceries and see mortgage rates or home prices.

The spending of the last few years is way beyond anything we have seen before. And they’re not done trying. We just temporarily stopped $100 billion in foreign aid to Ukraine and others.

If we don’t stop this and change course, we will have a massive problem on our hands. Of course as my waste report shows there is no sign of us changing course…

Whoopsie: Improper Federal Payments – $236,000,000,000
The Government Pays Dead People … Again! – $38,000,000
Dr. Fauci’s Transgender Monkey Study – $477,121

These are just a few more egregious examples but you can read them all!

It’s a #Festivus Miracle! I found Hunter Biden’s pen name. You’re welcome James Comer.

#Festivus wouldn’t be complete without learning more about how the First Family celebrates during the holidays.

Even though this grand holiday of #Festivus lets me air my grievances, I celebrate Christmas w/ good cheer and humor. Hopefully, you do as well. Of course if you’re offended by this I’m sure you’ll behave rationally and keep scrolling through rather than stop
to complain. Right?

2023 has brought a lot of tough times for many, whether job or business loss, illness, or natural disasters.

I hope we all take some time this Holiday season to be grateful for the good in our lives, the love of our family and friends, and try to think of making our own part of the world a better place.

For now, I leave Washington to celebrate Christmas, worried about our future but hopeful that more good men and women will keep fighting for liberty and fiscal sanity.

Happy #Festivus and have a Merry Christmas!

The post Sen. Rand Paul Humorously Airs His Festivus Grievances, Roasts Colleagues Including Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham appeared first on The Gateway Pundit.