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Zoom Masturbator Jeffrey Toobin Welcomed Back To CNN, Throws Pity Party Over ‘Excessive’ Reaction To His Conduct

June 10, 2021
Gabriel Keane | National File

Former New Yorker employee and “Senior Legal Analyst: Jeffrey Toobin returned to the Cable News Network after an extended leave that commenced when he was caught vigorously masturbating on a work-related Zoom call. In his first statements on CNN since the incident, Toobin expressed regret that he had been caught acting inappropriately, but did not appear remorseful for his conduct, and chose instead to complain about how hard his life had become post-Zoom masturbation.

“It was something that was inexplicable to me, I think one point, I wouldn’t exactly say in my defense because nothing is really in my defense, I didn’t think I was on the call,” Toobin insisted. “I didn’t think other people could see me.” The “senior legal analyst” added, “I thought that I had turned off the Zoom call. Now, that’s not a defense. This was deeply moronic and indefensible. But I mean, that is part of the story.”

“And you know, I have spent the seven subsequent months, miserable months in my life, I can certainly confess, trying to be a better person. I mean, in therapy,” Toobin continued. “Trying to do some public service, working in a food bank, which I certainly am going to continue to do.”

Toobin went on to describe the New Yorker’s decision to fire him following the public self-pleasurement session “heartbreaking,” and expressed hope that his return to CNN will create reactions on social media “that are at least mixed.” When asked if he believing his punishment by the New Yorker was fair, he monologued, “I love the New Yorker, I loved working there, I thought I was a very good contributor to that magazine for a very long time, and I thought this punishment was excessive, but look, that’s why they don’t ask the criminal to be the judge in his own case.”

In October 2020, Toobin was observed “lowering and raising his computer camera, exposing and touching his penis, and motioning an air kiss to someone other than his colleagues.”